my prerogative

An electrical engineering class -or a batti lecture as we call it was torturous enough(and that it always is) to make me write this sitting somewhere on the last benches of II-LT-1 in the middle of that lect.

Heads tossing left or right
And the proff there who wouldn't have died
Saying something we just cant hear
And writting Egyptian which is never ever clear
It seems as if
Everyone is about to drop
And eyes from their sockets will just now pop
And like corpses will they all fall?
And give me a good reason to get out from this hellish hall...
But I applaud the courage that they display
In each lecture and every morning that they so religiously replay...

Bye
I am already late for my visit to the mortuary....

I was sitting in the library when I saw a plant in a planter near a closed window when these thoughts occured to me...

The plant that peeps out through the window

Watches tall trees ,greener plants swaying with the wind

Dimpled look it gives to me and says ,

'Who cares ! I am safer within .'

*******

I found these beautiful lines written by Otto Harbach(1873-1963)...thought I'll share them with you..........

"
They asked me how I knew

My true love was true

I of course replied

'Something here inside
Cannot be denied'

Now laughing friends deride tears I cannot hide,

So I smile and say 'When a lovely flame dies,smoke gets in your eyes.'

Bye

It was cold...rather very cold
Two souls sat eye to eye
The inner solitude of which they caught hold
Flew away with just one sigh

No one spoke yet much was exchanged
Moments ticked by and history they became
They stayed with them long after
The numbness had burst into pearls of laughter

Pages were blown away by the wind
They never returned
To that phase of life which they had just upturned

A cup of coffee is full of caffeine they say
It lingers on your heart for long
I believe it is more the coffee than the caffeine that may
So as she sips her cup each day
that warm touch which never was
with her will forever stay......

(In reference to the four day fest we had .......)

THE FOUR DAYS MUTINY

With my rifle raised against all those

who asphyxiate by the dead air in their rooms when outside the spring is blooming in its full colours and fragrance

who think it is elitist to speak so that you eat your words and your speech neither remains audible nor edible

who think people dont have anything left except for waiting and acting according to their dead messages

who cant appreciate the wonderful gift of speech more than or atleast equal to that of writing

who cant appreciate normal and natural thoughts and acts

who believe in overdoing everything and standing out of crowd just for the heck of it

who order filling and refilling the decanter

who so devotedly fill and refill the decanter

who believe that every moment has to be minted in terms of gains

who if donot see anything in a worthless panel discussion will spot out a vulnerable face to see to it that the wasted time is somehow made up

who cant stand for truth

who do splendidly well on stage but just cant put up a small smile on face offstage and will frown their ways out

who fail to appreciate appreciation

who are hungry souls

who hide in bushes to pounce on an innocent prey

who cant appreciate innocence in beauty

who can appreciate sensuality of a woman in rain but fail to appreciate the laughters and giggles of the dance of untouched chastity

who let out a stream of invectives while waiting for their turn to enter into a packed hall

who let these streams of invectives be let out by not letting them in

who misunderstand good music for bad and bad for good

who try and lead by lagging behind

who are mild when it is might they need to exercise

who fail to acknowledge those who are genuinely concerned

who let their houses break and surf on the momentary tide of power

friends who fail to understand the virtue of being straight in speech and actions rather than serving honey coated poison

who are not reading this

who do not have courage to criticise a person on face rather who are coward enough to backbite

who have made this world so complicated to live in

who fuel made up feelings and push the future of their so called friends into a blind deep well

who are all tanked up before they are to accompany a decent lot

who have no opinion of things

who are deaf to the voices of their inner call

who think it is their prerogative to write

who mess up the end of everything

who could not reach till the end of this..

I am all messed up with anything and everything on earth..

Here is a passing account of how..

I had been trying to get a comp for last 15 days and finally when i managed to sneak my dibba out of my brothers safe hands(who happens to be a hardcore lover of some 'moto racers,need for speed and that stupid mind boggling stuff')this so called helper in my hostel(who was supposedly helping me WITHOUT ANY PRE-REQUISITES in getting my beloved dubba 2 my 2nd floor room[a lot of poltu went into acquiring the room as well,will tell abt it smtime later]handled or manhandled it such that my compu will bear those marks throughout its lifespan.A gentle women that I am,so I asked him the cost of his labour and before my dumb self could get back its senses he had robbed me of my month's nescafe's sprees.

I was happy like a baby is when he gets a new toy 2 play...but if it only starts.. . so i spend my time writing my hucca presentation on my truely dubba(for which ,again, i cudnt get a partner...i often find such situations ironical and ludicrous..esp in a place like this.)

As it always happens at the 11th hour (or may I say 11:59th)when I just completed the presentation I discovered that my dubba was devoid of an essential limb that of the cd righter.I could not manage any help from my helpful neighbours,they being early risers and early leavers for class..so i had to write my 6 page lamba presentation manually(as if the night out wasnt enough).Somehow managed thru the hucca class and remembered just in time that my next lecture required me to submit a 5-6 page assignment.I hardly could manage any help(this long nose of mine pokes its nose everywhere ,even where I dont want it 2)and yes somehow again because of those impulsive and timely brain failures I succeeded in landing right under the profs nose ..so i completed my assignment looking eye to eye with my prof during his 1 and a 1/2 hr lecture.

Hardly was I over with this when the so called festive season(hey by the way i believe we deserve a real jocky,vivacious,rolicking,sprightly and frolicsome fest ..much better than our apna pappu rendzv)so i was destined to sit on the net whenever i could that was almost always ..was woken each morn by a call msg which pre determined my duties for the days...spend my evening letting in aunties and uncles (4 ppl on 1 pass) on the security gates...messed up handling fucchaas as seniors and seniors as fucchaas ...and at the end of it got some stupid sick coupons for either a hot pepsi or some cold pizza..I was sick of those two stalls which do still pay me regular courtesy visits in my nightmares...

I in the mean time caught this fever called robomania ,in my rather bumpy start I cluttered with this team which on its part did manage to exist for a day when the minimum decorum for the sustenance for any respectable competitive team was not saved,hence its extirpation. I,to add to my tarnishing condt, got muddled with my frnds on this.

One fine morning I woke up to the trauma of this soulful realization of minors knocking at my door. ..on real time scale just 3 days away...and I started with my timely preparations of nightouts(only for days before minors...exams r a dose of intoxicating siesta over which I have no control)

So after annhiliating from my never ending sequence of goofing up things(reading specification exams)I stumbled upon the crude and naked realization of goofing up,blowing,bobbling,bollixing,botching,bumbling, bungling,floundering,flubbing and fumbling eveything I have in hand........(i hope i did not mess up with these)....

P.S :In case you are one of my tribes and wondering how I blew up trivial things,I'll rather inform thy kind soul that these just drew the boundaries and those events which smeared up my writing this still remain behind curtains...

P.S : P.S::For those wondering at my untimely ,rather late even by Indian Standard Time, description of Rendezvous(collg fest),I blame it all to my lovely yet sickly dubba in which i did save a timely article titled '3 day mutiny' in reverence to souls like mine who died in the torpid season of rendzv....
Hope to get my compu and myself back into a zippy mood....

Bye
Stay goofed up until I feel better...

Forgot to tell(again messing things up....saw my first english thriller movie at a theatre....sounds bad but that is how it is.....yaa the movie Transporter was good ..the hero -I call him Frank was better ....his car was best....[any1 knows his name plz tell me..]{if you have somehow managed to travel till the end of this}

Bye again...